All Joan Rivers Really Wants In Life Is For Famous People To Sit On Her Lap

Joan Rivers is just misunderstood, you guys.

People say that Rivers takes her jokes way too far, and that she simply stirs up controversy and hurls insults to stay relevant. But her Instagram account holds the key to the secret wish in her heart. Deep down inside, Rivers really only wants to be the Santa Claus of Hollywood.

Skeptical? Just take a look at some of the people she's made sit on her lap -- trust me, there are more -- within the last year:

Jordin Sparks


Keke Palmer


Laverne Cox


Austin Mahone


Rumer Willis


Candice Accola


Lauren Conrad


Leona Lewis


Olivia Newton-John


Lil Jon


Victor Cruz


Zendaya


Terry Crews


Behati Prinsloo


Molly Sims


Desean Jackson


Melissa Joan Hart


Common


What 81-year-old woman lets not one, but two NFL players post up on her lap for no apparent reason?

A woman who wants to be Santa Claus, that's who.
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Lil B Has A Message For The World: ‘No Black Person Is Ugly’

Lil B releases a new video for "No Black Person Is Ugly."
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The Wytches Are The Band You Need In Your Life If You Like To Cry-Dance

MTV News spoke with The Wytches about their upcoming record Annabel Dream Reader.
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Ali Wentworth Would Happily Co-Host ‘The View’: I’ll Talk ‘Vaginas Until The Cows Come Home’

Producers of "The View," take note: we know someone who'd be happy to join your crew, and her name's Ali Wentworth.

"Look, I'd be happy to do it if they offered it to me," the comedic actress told HuffPost Live's Caitlyn Becker in an interview Tuesday. "Can you imagine? And they should, because I will talk about vaginas until the cows come home. And I used to guest host a lot, and I had such a great time doing it. So yes, I would do 'The View.'"

While Wentworth would gladly take a seat at the infamous round table next to the likes of Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell, she admitted that there are others whom she finds more suited for the opportunity.

"I think I would've been the right choice in the last go-round, but I think they need a conservative," she said. "I read at one point that they were considering Sarah Palin and I thought, 'Well, that would be interesting.' Good TV. But I just think Rosie O'Donnell would chew her up like a biscuit, but that's what you want in television."

Watch the full HuffPost Live conversation with the hysterical Ali Wentworth here.

Sign up here for Live Today, HuffPost Live's new morning email that will let you know the newsmakers, celebrities and politicians joining us that day and give you the best clips from the day before!
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9 Back-To-School Backpacks That Are Anything But Basic

I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but in case you’ve been in a reverie and haven’t peeped a calendar recently, we’re approaching August. Like, rapidly. Don’t shoot the messenger, but, August officially marks the beginning of the back-to-school season and, well, you better get shoppin’. + Check out our fave back-to-school backpacks! We’re kicking off... Read more »
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6 Most Exciting First Pitches From Baseball In Asia

You think the first pitches are crazy in America? You should see how it goes down in Japan and South Korea.
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‘Teen Wolf’ Poll: Can Kate Trust Peter To Train Her?

Peter Hale may have tried to kill Kate Argent, but he may hold the key to controlling her werejaguar power. Should she trust him?
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Every Time Samuel L. Jackson Says Motherf— All At Once (NSFW)

You know, if Samuel L. Jackson were to go into a patent office demanding copyright over one particular swear word, we'd be surprised if they didn't give him the sole, exclusive rights to it. Because if anyone has claim over the mastery of the word implying that your mother has been sufficiently boned, it is most assuredly Samuel L. Nobody says it like he does, nor with as much frequency, variety, and ferocity.
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Watch Vin Diesel Dub ‘I Am Groot’ In A Bunch Of Other Languages

Vin Diesel, he's so talented! He's a polyglot six times over! Or at least he can say "I am Groot" in Brazilian Portuguese, French, Russian, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese (and English, duh). The line, a reference to his character in "Guardians of the Galaxy," was dubbed in each language for the Marvel's international marketing campaign. But you can see Diesel utter the line with aplomb in each dialect because ... well ... because he's Vin Diesel, okay? Okay!

Brazilian Portuguese


French


Russian


Spanish


Mandarin Chinese (plus all the others)
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‘Big Bang Theory’ Contract Negotiations Have Officially Delayed Season 8

The Bazinga is officially on us.

CBS' continued failure to reach contract agreements with the stars of "The Big Bang Theory" is officially delaying the start of production for Season 8, reports E! News.

In a statement, "TBBT's" production company, Warner Bros. TV, said, "Due to ongoing contract negotiations, production on The Big Bang Theory -- which was originally scheduled to begin today (July 30) -- has been postponed."

The stars of the show, Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar, are reportedly all seeking substantial raises, with Parsons, Galecki and Cuoco-Sweeting looking for something in the $1 million per episode range.

CBS, who has already renewed the series through Season 10, recently told reporters that they were confident an agreement could be met, with Chairman of Entertainment Nina Tassler saying, "These deals manage to get done somehow miraculously year after year," according to Access Hollywood.

If only CBS had a real Sheldon Cooper do the negotiations. His roommate agreement contract is pretty ironclad.

The good news is that despite the production delay, the Season 8 premiere date hasn't been pushed back ... yet, anyway.

tv show gifs

"The Big Bang Theory" is scheduled to premiere Monday, September 22, at 8:00 p.m. ET on CBS.
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